Halo

I was playing through the Halo series with a friend a while ago and I thought I'd share my personal experiences playing the game through on legendary.

First of all I would like to point out a few flaws in the game.

#1 The plot was awful, C rate sci-fi that was written by a lobotomized chipmunk on crack.

#2 The enemies sucked ass, they made 3 models for enemies and then just changed the colours depending on the difficulty...

And what is with the zombies, come on, use some imagination. Doom had more variety for christs sake. Then there was The Flood... THE FLOOD? What? Are you serious? Am I supposed to be shitting myself now? Well I'm not, so you FAIL. Small yellow balls on legs that jump on me and turn corpses to the living dead. Have I seen this formula before somewhere? Let me think now... oh yeah, Half-Life.

#3 The map design. Oh my god, don't even talk about it. It was horrible. It's nice that you forgot to make the rest of the game after the middle. You just turned the whole game around. First we go from A to B and when we get to B we go back to A.

Not to mention that the first trek to point B was frustrating for the boring monotonous design where they just reused the same design over and over and over and over and over and over again.

At some point in the game I actually had to open the door and we had a short break for coffee and when we sat down to play the game we had no idea on which way to go and actually backtracked for a while because the level design was so identical. Thank the gods for corpses that stay on the ground.

#4 There are only 2 good weapons in the entire game. The shotgun and the sniper rifle. There's also the pea shooter that is supposed to be your main weapon throughout the game but damn it sucks. It's good with two players when the other player carries a shotgun to actually kill something and you use the pea shooter to fend off THE FLOOD!

#5 No save option in the between map changes. Oh my god WHY? When you just want to stop playing because you don't want to hurt yourself anymore you actually have to play through the map just so you wouldn't need to start it all over from the fucking start of the level. Trust me, you'll damn Bungee to hell for not making a save game option.

There was a moment while playing when I really wanted to stop because I couldn't take it anymore with the map for it was more horrible than Cthulhu's underwear. But no, we had to play more because we knew that if we had to play the map again we would have to go kill someone or at the very least 20 kittens. What kind of a game would want to make someone want to kill kittens? Well I'll tell you, Halo.

#6 The ending. Just play the game through and you know what I mean. I don't want to spoil it mostly because it was so traumatic that I don't want to remember it anymore. Let's just say I still need therapy after the ordeal.

#7 It was way too easy.

#8 There's more of them

Now let's point out some of the good points of the game just so I can say I said something positive too.

#1 The multiplayer experience is fun. Jeah, I said it. It was fun. Well mostly cause we didn't need to take it seriously and there was someone to cry with at the horrid fact that this game actually got rave reviews.

#2 The shotgun. Now that is a real weapon. No game is complete without a shotgun.

#3 The sticky bomb... I mean plasma grenade.

#4 It's short

I tried to think of more good points but I think I'm stretching with these already.

Anyway, those are only my thoughts on the game. If I can muster my courage to write about the sequel I'll do it. Now there's a game worth remembering, on how not to do a game. If possible it was worse than this.

Thanks for reading
-toby