Batman - The Dark Knight

I just had to write something about the movie because I was wondering what all the hype was about the whole shenanigans.

The movie was ok. Not excellent, not bad, ok.

That said let's grade it the Toby way. I give it 3 hammers out of 5



Let's talk of some of the things that annoyed me in the movie.

First of all, the plot was way too long and tried to do a lot of things in a time limit and didn't really manage it. The beginning of the movie was boring but it managed what it wanted to do, it wanted to prolong the tension we had in the theater waiting to see the Joker.

The whole movie was about the Joker. Seriously. The Joker was the main character, not Batman. Batman was somewhere along the lines of a minor character who talks in a stupid manner. The talk is supposed to be threatening but comes off ridiculous, and the chin isn't threatening or good looking enough to keep Batman interesting.

But I think it's not entirely the fault of Heath Ledger's death that the expectations were so high on the Joker hype. Facts are that the Joker is the most enigmatic Batman villain and the last time we saw him in a live-action movie was in the Tim Burton classic, portrayed by none other than Jack Nicholson. Because Nicholson made such a memorable show out of the whole movie of course the old generation wanted to see what would they do with the character this time around and everyone wanted to compare Nicholson to Ledger.

I say that Nicholson was amazing, but so was Ledger. The Jokers are different and that's great, both portrayals of the character are awesome and it is a shame that Ledger went off and died because I would have wanted to see him take another shot at the role. Give me more Joker!

But let me whine about something else. The school bus. It backed through a bank wall full speed. I have never heard of a bus that could back through a wall. To top it all off the bus didn't get a scratch. Not one scratch in the perfect paint job and just drove off from the hole to join the ranks of passing school buses that seemingly didn't even need to slow down to let the bus join in. And of course the next scene isn't a high speed car chace with Joker vs cops. Bummer.

The whole bank heist thing was quite old-school anyway. Couldn't you come up with anything better than making the Joker steal money from a mob bank and so connecting him to a whole huge mess of mob power struggling that has no sense or is in any way interesting. If he loves pure chaos why does he need to do it the hard way, I would have just torched the bank.

And when you really stop to think about the movie and the characters in it... it was an emo-flick. Let's all cry together for the world is eewul.

!!!Here be spoilers!!!

"Hi! I'm Batman and I have some anger issues and I like to dress up while I beat the living shit out of people who laugh at my costume. Oh, and don't mind the speech, I know it sounds stupid but seriously, if I look like this I better but some icing on the cake."

"Well hello Batbaby, I'm the Joker. Wanna know how I got these scars? Well I was a whiny bitch and my trucker mom fucked my face up with a tire iron while I was jerking off to some dog-porn. I too have anger issues coz nobody loved me when I was growing up and my best friend was poo on a stick."

"I'm Harvey Dent. Yes I know I'm the knight in shining armor in this movie but since my woman was blown up by the clown on crack I decided to take it out on everyone else because, well... I dunno, he was so convincing in that skin tight dress, an that make-up. Oh my god I'm gay!"

All in all, not a bad movie if you like watching 3 grown men dance around in dresses and whine about their problems.

Go check it out.